Limbo

I have finished unpacking and am settling into normal life here in the Garden State. I have joined a gym, navigated to and fro a handful of places sans the GPS, and located an establishment that serves a decent fish taco up in here. I have worked through all the red tape of moving - address changes, insurance changes, house sales. When I am not currently wading through a 100 page stack of escrow papers, I find myself meditating about what's next. Wedding plans. Career changes (hopefully).

What do I want from the universe, and how can I accomplish it? How can I be useful, but still be happy? What can I offer? What can I reap?

This morning in Yoga class, we ended by laying in the quiet darkness, still for the length of just one song. A tiny gift to reward ourselves for enduring the endless maelstrom of information and stimulation we are bombarded with and or seek out. Now that I've have a moment to breathe, what to do? What to do? What path shall I take? Go to Spain, the voice said. No, Greece, it argued. Maybe, one day.

I haven't been allowed this luxury since high school. It's both wonderful and mildly terrifying. So much of one's identity is wrapped up in what they do, not who they are. This is a shift for me. The gift of choice versus necessity. What a lucky girl am I.