Christmas in July

In preparation for my move to New Jersey, I have begun to weed through the various and sundry items that have accumulated in my garage. These items include hand-me-down Christmas ornaments from my beloved Nana, some of which surprised me. Behold what I found in Nana's box of Christmas perversions.

Diddles the Elf

This little drummer boy appears to enjoy beating his stick. Who said Christmas was for kids?

Next, we have cute little Santa. He looks benign from the front.

Turn around, bright eyes...

But wait. What is tha...is that a...oh my. Either there's no time for potty breaks whilst delivering toys or Mrs. Claus is a wig. Maybe Diddles and Santa have some splaining to do.

Anus Claus is scary, but not as disturbing as Pedophile Santa and his sack full of...um...children?

"Ho Ho Ho. Merry Christmas to me."