Disney Strikes Again

Last year, I had a Disney experience I chalked up to a case of the Mondays, but after having two equally disappointing experiences last week, it appears this is just the new Disney. Cue the bagpipes and the 21 gun salute. The day after Christmas, my sweetie, my sister, and I went to Disneyland, because she and I love Disneyland and hadn't been in a year, and my sweetie is a benevolent man. The day was fine except that early in the day, the power went out at the Pirates of the Caribbean and Haunted Mansion, two of the best rides, and it stayed off for the rest of the day. At $70 a head, these fools can't figure out a generator or something? They have their own air space for the the love of God. 5, 7, 10 hours went by, still no power. Big time bummer.

This is certainly not my biggest beef. There may have been a huge problem with the electrical system, and I don't want to ride something unsafe, so this, although disappointing, was not the end of the world (although I will point out that every time we go, something is broken, and it's usually one of the big ones). This next complaint, however, is totally unacceptable and proves my point that young people suck at customer service. As a young-ish person, even I think that 20 somethings get four thumbs down for their service skills. Disneyland should raise the pay at Disneyland and hire older, more literate people, instead of the pubescent douchetards who currently run their parking lots, restaurants, etc.

Look, I see this statement is ageist and potentially offensive, but I consider it a simple case of ripening. Sure, some people like green bananas and some people like brown bananas, but most of us are right in the center of the bell curve and like our bananas yellow. I've heard many people say things like, "Man, my mom was awesome when I was a kid," or "My dad was really something in his prime." That's because, unless your parents were like Bristol Palin or Elton John, they were yellow flippin' bananas. But I digress. Back to Disneyland having shitty service.

New Year's eve, my sweetie and I met my aunt and uncle at Downtown Disney for dinner and fireworks. We wanted to sit outside, so we could sip champagne and enjoy the fireworks at midnight. All was splendid, until the propane in the space heater ran out. Laugh if you may, but 45 degrees to Californians is arctic, and it was darn cold. My aunt asked if we could move inside, and this is where the evening soured.

The manager, in all of his quarter century charm and so-Cal ego, snarkily informed us that we deserved to be cold because we chose to sit outside. "But your space heater is broken," we replied. After arguing back and forth, he finally said he would accommodate us by letting us move indoors, but we had to carry our own plates, because we were moving to a new waiter's section and who would we tip if staff carried our plates? Who would we tip? That was his concern?

My uncle then informed Captain Schmuckface that he'd been in the restaurant business since before that little manajerk was born, and FYI customers don't carry plates through a restaurant unless they are coming back from a buffet line, and especially not if they're paying three digits for meal service. The manajerk said he was accommodating us enough by letting us move in the first place, so my uncle handed our waiter a tip and we walked out, leaving the manager to pick up our plates and our tab.

Disneyland is lucky that it has movies and 55 years of nostalgia to bring in guests, because if people based their opinions on their park visits, Disney would be broke. Everyone I know has at least one story about how they've called or written corporate with a complaint about bad service and rudeness, but all we ever get is some lame apology letter. I'd love to know just how many apology letters get sent each day. Postage is probably the reason for the insane ticket price these days, because it's certainly not ride maintenance or staff training.