On Car-Related Fucktardery

1) Why do I habitually see entire bumpers, sometimes even equipped with the license plate still attached, on the side of the freeway? If someone totaled their car and the car was towed, why was the bumper left? Are these the bumpers of people running from the FBI, who ripped the identifiers from the car whilst fleeing in a panicked state? Are these the orphaned hit-and-run bumpers of drunkards and the un-insured? Is there a bar where bumpers go to hook up with a fly new honey of a car in hopes of making sweet magic by becoming the lips on its naked little car face? What the hell is going on? This is seriously baffling me. I need answers.

2) Why doesn’t Arco/ampm EVER have receipt paper in the pay near the pump kiosks? This seriously pisses me off. At ampms all across this state, I experience paperless receipt kiosks pretty much every single time I fill up there. What the hell do they charge us that extra .45 cents for? Apparently not receipt paper. It totally defeats the purpose of paying near the pump and being charged an extra fee for doing it if I have to GO INSIDE their smelly establishment to ask some zit faced reject and/or steaming hot pile of eyeliner and mascara for my flippin’ receipt. Yes, I bank online, but I still check my receipts, and I want one from you, ampm! If you hear me, ampm workers, next time you’re on your 40th ciggy break in two hours, fill the damn receipt paper. This has been a public service announcement.